Halloween 'Horror'
by Foozy-heeh
Summary: Ever think about what'd happen during Halloween with the Fullmetal Alchemist family? A little minific I put together while I was bored. T for language...O.o
1. Chapter 1

XD this kinda popped into my head while I was talking with Kaiya-Chan. We were talking about Halloween and this Halloween fic came into my head..Im not too good with titles..O.o; And I'll tell you I can't write scary stories for my life...X.x

—Halloween 'Horror'—

Ed sat on the couch of Roy Mustang's home with his feet pushed up and laying on the table in front of him. October 31st it was and Roy dragged Edward to his home and forced him to stay, or else 'prepare to get flamified'. Ed cracked up at that comment but Mustang seemed pretty serious about burning Edward to a crisp.

Upon hearing the news, Ed forced his brother Alphonse to come along too. Al couldn't see why. He was planning on going out tonight and when his brother told him that they had to go off to Mustang's place, Al was kinda brought down.

Al sat next to Ed, staring up at the ceiling. Roy was standing up next to the door. His hands were behind his back and he was leaning against the wall.

"So...Why are we here?" Ed broke the silence. He was now looking towards Mustang in an annoyed way. Getting dragged into his colonel's home and not even getting an explanation wasn't something he'd want to do. Mustang gave Ed an evil glare and opened his mouth to speak. He said one word.

"Hughes..." Roy said, tonelessly. He frowned and shook his head, slowly.

"Oh, hell no... He did NOT just make us go.." Ed said with a look of disgust on his face. Hughes again. Dragging them into Halloween, just so they'd see his daughter.

Mustang pulled a smirk on his face. "Well at first he asked only me to go with him...But I figured that the Fullmetal shrimp would like to come along too,"

"Mr. Hughes again?" Al asked. For some strange reason, it always surprised Al how far Hughes would go to brag about his family. Even though they've been going through it for years..Al was still surprised.

A knock resounded on the door to Mustang's house. Roy smirked at the two brothers who seemed to be in mortal peril, for getting pulled into this kind of stuff. "Oh, it can't be _that_ bad!" Roy said with a evil grin on his face. Ed and Al glared angrily at Mustang.

Roy opened the door and wished he could just slam is shut again. In front of his door was the 5 year old Elysia and Maes Hughes...who were both dressed up as...gangsters. Roy gaped at the two idiots. He slammed the door shut.

"Come on, Roy! It's Halloween spirit!" Hughes called from the other side of the door. Elysia held an empty bag that was supposed to hold her candy. Maes pushed his ear against the door and waiting for a response.

"No. No. No. It's not Halloween spirit! It's _stupid_!" Roy called to Hughes from his side of the door. He shook his head in disbelief and made a final comment. "And how on earth did your wife let you dress up like that?" asked Roy, seriously doubting that she'd _ever _let those two dress up like that.

"Well...she didn't..." Maes said leaning against the door now. He scratched the back of his neck and thought about how he should phrase this.

"Then..how...?"

"Shhhhh!" Meas said to Roy, "Now come on and let us in," he said with a smile.

"No," Roy said firmly.

"You're such a party pooper, Roy! That's all this is! Halloween spirit! It's not as though this is ever going to happen again!" Maes argued. He had a sad look on his face. "Pleaase!"

Roy pulled the door open and Maes fell to the floor. He rubbed the side of his stomach and pulled himself back up.

"You had to do it so fast?" Hughes groaned. He pulled himself together and stood up. Only then was Ed able to get a good clear look at Maes. And he could tell why Roy didn't want him in the house.

For one thing he was dressed up as a gangster..For another his daughter was doing the same thing.. Baggy clothes, giant chains around their necks. They were both wearing sunglasses even though it was dark out. Ed and Al both stared at the two and their sense of self left them completely.

'_I am never looking at Hughes the same way again_..._'_ Ed said. He picked his feet up and placed the on the ground and off of Roy's table. Al plainly sat still. But inside he was just itching to go and throw those two out.

"..." The two brothers look crazed at Hughes and Elysia. They both seemed to be enjoying themselves. Ed wondered how they both managed to even get hold of their 'accessories'. He could picture it now in his mind.

—Ed's mind—

Alone, Hughes entered an empty store wearing his military uniform. He approached the counter and stared at the clerk straight in the eye. "I need gangster clothes," he said simply and bore an evil grin. The clerk gave him a death glare. He pointed opposite of where he was standing. He wasn't pointing in anywhere in particular. Just pointing at the store in general. Hughes turned around and scratched the back of his neck.

"Oh...There," he said, the grin slowly slipping off his face. He ventured out into the store and looked for some clothes.

Hughes stared around himself. He slowly walked down and around somehow knowing where to go. He finally found something that would look good. Looking around for a smaller size, he tried to pull some out from in the boxes near where he found it. He couldn't find anything remotely small so he picked out one of the smallest and went to the clerk.

"Wouldn't this look wonderful on her!" Hughes said happily, quickly pulling out a picture of Elysia from his pocket. He held the photo right in front of the clerk's face. The clerk was silent.

'This idiot got this stuff for a 5 year old?' The clerk thought as he stared blankly at Hughes. "Yeah, sure." He said simply and rung up what Hughes had bought. Hughes paid happily and leaned against the counter.

"You know, me and my wife met in the strangest way!" Hughes said happily. He started to tell the story of him and his wife for almost 20 minutes when the clerk decided he'd had enough. He pushed Hughes out the of the store angrily ("Hey I was getting to the good part!" Hughes yelled) and claimed that he had to close soon.

"That complete moron," the clerk said slowly, shaking his head after Hughes had left him.

—Out of Ed's mind—

Sadly enough..That's what actually happened in the store. Hughes even decided to relive it by making Roy the clerk and whispering what he had to say while he was going through it.

"Erm. Hughes...If you bought your daughter's clothes...Where did you get _yours_?" Ed asked curiously, remembering that Hughes hadn't bought his own clothes at the store.

"Oh I didn't need to buy them! I already had some!" Hughes said in a sing-song voice. Everyone was silent and staring at Hughes.

"..."

"What?" Hughes's head plopped down to one side. "I don't get it.."

"...You already had some...?" They all said at the same time.

"Yeah, so what?"

"Never...mind," Roy said. To say the truth he really _didn't_ want to know where, how, and _why_ Hughes already had some of those ridiculous clothes.

"Well now that everything's settled, let's go!" Hughes said happily, pointing his finger at the door out of Roy's house. He grabbed hold of Roy's house and began to drag him forward out of the house.

"FULLMETAL!" He yelled at Ed to come along so he wouldn't be alone with the crazy idiot who decided to be a gangster. Ed smiled evilly at Roy and opened his mouth.

"I'll pass," Ed said happily, closing his eyes. He picked his feet back up and placed them back on top of Roy's table. Al stared at Ed and raised his hand in the air.

"I think I'll stay too. You know, to protect brother!" Al said, quickly coming for a reason to stay away from Hughes.

"Protect me?" Ed whispered tonelessly at Al. _'Was that the best excuse you could think of?'_ Ed thought. Al merely shrugged and stayed sitting on the couch next to his brother. But, of course, being Maes Hughes he picked up Ed and tossed him over his shoulder and carried him to the door like that.

"Nonsense!" He said, "You need to live a little, Ed!" He threw open the door and breathed heavily. "Can you smell that? Fresh air, open space, it's wonderful!"

Ed gasped for breath. No, the air was not clean.

"Looks like the garbage truck just made its way around," Roy said, peering out of his house. "No wonder the streets are empty...It smells..." Roy crinkled his nose and stayed in the safety of his home.

"Nonsense! It's clean and fresh out here!" Hughes said happily. He held his daughter's hand in one of his hands. His other hand held Ed above his shoulder. Ed struggled and tried to get out of Hughes's grasp. "Al, you said you needed to protect your brother. Well come on!" He ushered Al to come along. And now Al wished he'd made a better excuse. "Roy, you promised you'd come with me!"

"Now wait one minute!" Roy said, pointing his finger accusingly at Hughes. "Never, at one moment in that conversation we had on the phone, did I say I was going with you!"

—Earlier this morning—

Hughes walked into the kitchen of his home and slowly picked up the phone. He dialed a number at a slow pace and waited, happily in his kitchen. Of course he was calling Roy (again). Waiting music began to play out of the phone, as Hughes waited for Roy to answer. Roy was apparently a 'very busy man' and needed some time to himself. But to Hughes that was just a lie.

"Doo doo doo. Doo doo doo. Doo doo doo do doo dooo!" Hughes began to hum the music and started to bob his forward with beat to the music.

"Hello?" Roy's voice sounded from the phone. But Hughes, not paying any attention, continued to hum. "..." Roy was silent. "Hughes!" He yelled from his end of the phone.

"What?" Hughes said, angrily, as if he was doing something insanely important.

"Why did you call me?" Roy said, annoyed as he grit his teeth, waiting for an answer.

"Oh yeah!" Hughes said, remembering he'd called Roy, "I wanted to know if you would come out with me and my daughter tonight! But of course I know you would, so why should I bother asking? See you tonight!" Hughes hung up the phone and began to hum the waiting music again.

Roy, back at Central headquarters, remained standing still. The phone was still against his ear, his hand still holding it in place. "See you...tonight?" Roy said in a low voice. His voice was filled with anger and he had the look of a killer.

—Normal time—

"Never, at one moment in that conversation we had on the phone, did I say I was going with you!"

"Yes you did, silly! I remember it like it was minutes ago!" Hughes said.

—How Hughes remembers it—

"Oh yeah!" Hughes said, remembering he'd called Roy, "I wanted to know if you would come out with me and my daughter tonight!" Hughes smiled and laughed like a maniac.

"Oh, of course I would! I'd love to! You don't need to ask me that!" Roy laughed back and grinned happily. "I can't wait!"

"Me neither!" Hughes replied, still smiling.

"It'll be so much fun!"

"I know!"

—Normal time—

"Whaaat! Roy yelled at Hughes. "I did _not_ say that!" Roy had his killer look again, after Hughes had retold what he remembered of what had happened.

"Yes you did! You don't have to be embarrassed of what you said!" Hughes said happily, chuckling at how Roy was hiding his inner feelings.

Roy gaped at Hughes in horror, wondering how else Hughes could destroy his reputation further. _'He made all that stuff up. Who does he think he is?' _

"Now off we go!" Hughes continued to carry Edward and walked down Roy's front steps. Elysia's hand was in one of Hughes's hands and Hughes turned around. "Come on, Roy! We don't have all day!"

"AL!" Ed yelled for his younger brother. He tried to kick his way out of Hughes's grip, but it didn't work. He struggled and tried to use his hands to loosen Hughes's grasp. It still didn't work.

Al continued to sit on the couch. Roy politely asked Al to move over a little and soon sat down next to him.

"Mustang, you traitor!" Ed screamed.

"Hey, Hughes. I'm sure Ed would love to go with you. I mean he _is_ the kind of person who enjoys these kinds of things," Roy lied with a straight face, and turned to Al. "Right?" he asked Al with a convincing face. Al nodded too, hoping that Hughes would just go.

"AL?"

"Oh stop it!" Hughes said, in an annoyed way. He walked back up into Roy's house and put Ed down. Ed fell to the floor on his stomach and scrambled around as he thought it was his chance to escape. But Hughes merely put his foot down on Ed's back.

"Alphonse, you will have to come or I'll crush your brother!" Hughes said menacingly. Elysia looked up at him from where she was standing. She had an expression of amazement. Maes looked down at her and winked. He pushed his foot down a little harder.

"HUGHES, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!" Ed screamed as he noticed the growing pressure on his back. Al jumped up and ran to his brother's side. Hughes pulled his foot up and held Al by the cloth tied around his waste. He let go of Elysia and took his free hand to grab Ed.

"I'm sure you'll have much fun with those two!" Roy said, smiling at the two brothers. He sat with his arms crossed on the couch. He was seriously enjoying the sight before his very eyes.

Hughes began to whisper at the two Elric brothers.

"Listen... You want Roy to come with us too, don't you?" He asked happily at the two brothers who wanted to kill Maes at the sight of him. Both the brother nodded back at him. "Then let's all get him and make him come,"

Ed and Al looked at each other and nodded. They straightened themselves out and Hughes let go of the two. They both bolted in Mustang's direction and Roy who wasn't expecting this, jumped up and threw Edward upside-down. Al picked Roy up while he was busy with Edward and started walking toward Hughes. "Mission accomplished!" he said happily as he pointed towards Roy who was now laying face down on Al's shoulder.

Ed sat on the floor where Mustang had thrown him. _'Where did he learn that? That monster..' _He rubbed his back where it painfully hurt now. After Hughes had almost snapped his back in half and Roy had thrown him in the air, it was aching like never before. Hughes saw Ed and picked him back up.

"Don't worry! I know something that'll help you for sure!" Hughes said, picking Edward back up on his feet. Ed groaned and Hughes took his place behind Edward.

"One...two...three!" Hughes punched Ed's back . Ed screamed, not in pain. But in surprise. He hadn't been expecting this, especially after Hughes had already abused his back.

"HUGHES!"

"There. Does it feel better now?" He stood in front of Ed again and smiled.

"NO!" Ed screamed back at Hughes. _'How can that guy always crack smiles in the worst possible moments!'_ Not only was Ed's back hurting now. His throat was hurting in the same pain. All the screaming he's been doing today. No doubt it was gonna hurt.

"Oh, you know it feels better!" With that Maes walked away back to where Al, Roy, and Elysia were. Ed stayed where he was. He was now sitting on the floor again, in a hunching position.

"Come on, Ed! We don't have all day!" Hughes stood by the door, waving at Ed trying to catch his attention. Ed glared angrily at Hughes and stood up again. He didn't know what Hughes was talking about when he said 'Oh, you know it feels better!'. It was certainly hurting more now than it was, before he punched him.

'_He'll never leave,'_ Ed thought as he glared at everyone standing at the door. _'And he'll never shut up about this if I tell him to go and leave,'_ Ed decided to just go and bear with it. After all..It was just like Roy had said. It couldn't be that bad. Or could it?

I'm thinkin I'm actually gonna make a mini-fic using this xD. A little Halloween fic of what could happen. A nice little side story!


	2. Chapter 2

Okie...this sucks..my dad literally took away my laptop. So i didn't have enough time to get this written until now. Sucks, doesn't it. But I got it back, cuz my dad finally got his own laptop to use. But the thing is, now that Parent Teacher Conferences are over, he's restricting my computer time down (EVEN MORE)...

Chapter 2 

Ed stood up and walked toward everyone at the doorway. He glared angrily at Hughes, who was being the smiling maniac he was. If he ever became an alchemist, he should be known as the Smile Alchemist. The alchemist who'll put a smile on your day, every time! But Ed doubted that it would ever happen.

"Erm..I need to go to the bathroom for a little bit, before we go!" Ed said quickly. He had an idea. And he knew this would work. Hughes gave him a sidewards glance and told him not to take all day.

Ed ran inside, deep in Mustang's house and looked for the bathroom. He then remembered this was _Mustang's _home and that he had no clue where the bathroom was. Apparently Mustang was thinking the same thing.

"First one on the left," He said, dully, pointing out the door in the hallway of his house.

"Oh, thanks." Ed smiled and walked in. Grinning he grabbed the toilet paper and began unrolling it all.

Ed unrolled the toilet paper and began wrapping himself up. He slowly did his legs first and then move onto his arms. It was a pain to do it, since he had to make it loose enough for him to walk and move, but he got it eventually. Sadly, it took 20 minutes, which made it look as if he was constipated or something. Hughes seemed to notice that it was taking awhile.

"Ooh, Edward! I hope you're not trying to make it look as if you're constipated so you don't have to go!" Hughes called from outside the bathroom. Ed froze for a few seconds and continued to wrap himself up.

"Ugh...Uhhh..." He moaned as he tried to wrap his final arm. At first he tried using his mouth to wrap it..But that didn't work. He finally decided to use his already-wrapped-arm to finish it off.

Hughes, from the outside, heard the moans from the bathroom and really thought Ed was hurt or something.

"Ed!" Hughes yelled and quickly slammed the door open. Edward, upon suddenly being walked in on, sat down on the toilet and yelled at Hughes.

"CAN'T I GET SOME PEACE IN HERE?"

"AAH! MY PRECIOUS EYES!" Hughes yelled as he quickly turned away and slammed the door shut. Ed didn't even understand it. He didn't even have his pants down. And why the hell would a guy _sit_ on the toilet? Ed rolled his eyes, impatiently and looked at himself in the mirror. He actually stared at himself and thought he'd done a really good job, considering the amount of time he had. He finally took a deep breath and opened the door outside.

Hughes was sitting on the couch Ed was sitting on earlier and was covering his face with his hands. Roy and Al were still outside on the front steps, just staring out into space. Hughes was mumbling something about his eyes being damaged for life, but Ed rolled his eyes again and said he was ready.

Hughes looked up at him and stared with his eyes wide open.

"You look odd," he said plainly.

"You shouldn't talk," He began to walk toward the door. When he was walking, Roy turned around and stared at Ed. Al looked too. He was scared of his brother. He'd have nightmares of this day, if he ever could dream again.

"Let's go," Ed walked out the front door and nearly gagged. The smell ad gotten worse from before and Hughes stood behind him.

"Oh it can't be that ba-" Hughes nearly choked himself as he stepped outside. Roy was crinkling his nose, greatly and stared at the two. Elysia, who was outside the entire time, was walking around. Apparently she had gotten used to the stench. Al, who couldn't smell, stared at Ed, Roy, and Hughes and plainly wished he had a camera with him. Hughes and Ed choking, and Roy crinkling his nose so much. It was really a site to see.

"DEEP BREATHS!" Hughes instructed as he had fallen to the ground, after being taken by surprise. Ed was leaning on the side of the building, clutching his chest. The instructions were plain and simple. But were easier said than done.

After spending 10 minutes on the front steps, they finally were good enough to head out. But..Everyone was avoiding them. They all gave awkward glances at the 5 people walking out.

Ed who looked like he had just risen up from the dead, was walking in an odd way. He could barely bend his knees, so he looked like a real mummy. Elysia and Maes who were gangsters were walking around happily and jumpy. They were acting nothing like they should've been. Al who was dressed up as nothing, was still getting weird looks. Even on Halloween, it wasn't normal to be walking around in a giant suit of armor. Roy, who seemed to look like the only sane one from a distance, was walking normally. Well, sort of. He was still wearing his military uniform. But. You could really say it was a 'Kodak moment'.

They reached the first house and they all walked up the steps. There was an elderly lady sitting on the porch and held a box of candy in her lap. You could say she was sleeping. But by the way Ed and Roy were looking at her, it seemed as if she was dead. They were able to confirm she was alive when she opened her eyes suddenly and started to speak.

"TUM PAGUL BANDURS HAY!" She screamed at them, after seeing them all. Roy covered his ears, in shock. Elysia had her eyes open and felt as if she'd moved inches by just the noise. Al fell over. Ed could've sworn he'd have minor brain damage for awhile. Hughes merely flinched.

The old woman then held up the candy and it was looking as if she was offering it to them. Totally scared, they all took a piece, and wondered what she'd do if they declined her offer. She smiled at them happily, and waved them goodbye as they all left. Then se went back to 'sleep'.

"I swear that lady was mental," Ed said as he rubbed his ears in pain.

"I don't doubt you," Roy replied.

"Me neither," Al concluded.

"Maybe she wasn't. Maybe she was just scared." Elysia said. She then got a couple of angry glances thrown at her. Then she added, "Or maybe she was mental!" she said, as she backed away from those three.

"I still wonder what she said," Ed said, scratching the back of his head.

"Judging by the way she acted after she said it, I bet she said something along the lines of "I love you" or something," Hughes said, sighing and began to walk up the front steps of the next house.

"Yeah sure. She was probably like : I LOVE YOU ALL! HERE HAVE SOME CANDY!" Ed yelled in an impression, which just gave more awkward glances from everyone on the street. Ed groaned, after noticing how much the street had gotten quieter.

"Freak," Roy whispered so low that no one heard him except Edward. Ed threw a punch at Mustang, but Mustang ducked in time and kicked Ed in the shins, resulting in Ed being knocked into Al and falling inside of him.

"AAH!" Al screamed as he felt Edward being pushed inside of him. Ed tried to get himself untangled from himself, but before he knew it it had become dark. Ed blinked, trying to realize what happened. When he remembered he was inside of Al, and figured out that someone had shut him up inside of him.

"Mustang, you bastard, let me out of here!" Ed yelled while pounding on the door, heavily. He knew he'd leave dents inside of there, but he wanted out.

"I'm sorry, did you say something? That isn't how you talk to the future Fuhrer," Roy crossed him arms and grinned happily. He walked up the steps after Hughes and turned back around to face Al. "Don't you even think about opening that," Mustang said with a death glare on his face. Al who was about to open up, stood up straight in fear and saluted to Mustang. "Yes sir!" Ed from the inside gave an angry punch against the hard and heavy metal.

"Al you idiot! You don't even work for him!" Ed yelled. He tried to move around in his brothers armor, but it was quite squished in there. _'If I were normal sized, I probably wouldn't be able to move an inch,' _Ed thought as he tried to get his arm out from a uncomfortable position. _'It might be good to be short, sometimes.' _He thought. But right after that he banged his head against the heavy metal and screamed. "IT'S NOT GOOD TO BE SMALL!"

Mustang turned around again and stared in Al's direction. "Now, shrimp, you shouldn't say that. There are lots of good things of being a shrimp," Roy shrugged and turned around again. He rang the doorbell and stepped back to let Elysia through.

The door opened to suddenly, Roy and Maes nearly fell back on each other. Elysia acted as if nothing had happened and plainly stood there.

"Happy Halloween!" he said happily. She stood with a smile on her face and held up her bag of candy. Maes and Roy cowered behind her, in shock. The person standing in the doorway wasn't something you saw everyday, not even on Halloween.

The woman in the doorway brushed her hair out of her face and stared down at the two men and child. Her eyes rested on Hughes's face. _'You have to be kidding,' _ she then turned her way toward Mustang who was crouching next to Hughes. Mustang was cowering in fear for the very reason that his 1st lieutenant was standing in the doorway.

"Do I even dare ask?" she muttered under her breath as she suddenly realized what Hughes and Elysia were dressed up as. She sighed and crouched down to meet Elysia.

"Hi, Elysia!" she said smiling, as she got down face-to-face with her.

"Hi!" Elysia smiled as she realized who it was. "I remember who you are because Mr. Mustang always talks about you!"

Roy opened his eyes wide and scurried over to Al and then crouched behind him. _'No no no no no no no no...' _he thought as he hoped that Elysia wouldn't say what she was about to say.

"Oh he does, does he?" she said, eyeing Roy as he ran for cover behind Alphonse Elric. "So what does he say?"

"He always talks about you as the scary woman who always makes him do is work!" Elysia blurted out without realizing what she was saying. Riza's eye twitched but showed no other signs of movement.

"You wanna know what Daddy says about you?" Elysia said happily, jumping up and down like a bunny rabbit. She seemed pretty excited to let this thing out.

At that moment Hughes jumped and clasped his right hand around Elysia's mouth. "We really should get going!" He said jumpily, as he guided Elysia away from Riza's house. He stopped at the sudden feeling of something cold on the back of his neck. He shivered in fear and knew exactly what it was.

"Let go of her," Riza growled as she held up her revolver against Hughes neck. "Now go on Elysia; what does your father say about me?"

"Oh he says that you and Mr. Mustang should hurry up," she said smiling as she turned around and faced Riza's face. She was blank. And then her expression changed completely.

"YOU SAID WHAT?" She yelled as she aimed her revolver at Hughes's leg to keep him from running.

"She's lying!" Hughes yelled as he ran away from Riza as fast as he could.

_Bang!_

Riza shot in Hughes's direction but missed him by inches. _'Darn,' _she thought as she aimed for another shot, except Al was in the way. Hughes and Mustang were cowering behind Al and Al turned around to face the two grown men. He picked them up by the collar of their shirts and threw them toward Riza.

"HOW COULD YOU?" Hughes scrambled to get to his feet but the Hawkeye's gun missed by inches from his leg. He fell to the ground again, completely shocked. _'Damn, she's serious about shooting me!' _Hughes tried to get to his feet again but it only resulted in another gunshot.

Roy sat down in shock, wondering what would happen to him. _'Maybe if I'm quiet enough I can slip out and away from here,' _He slowly started inching away from Hawkeye but she took aim quickly and shot right in front of Roy.

"You're not going anywhere either..." she said in an evil tone, as he mind was set on killing the two men.

"Oh merciful Lord! Please save us from this foul beast whom she calls herself a human!" Maes yelled out into the night sky, with his hands raised out in front of him.

Roy turned his head toward him and gave a completely blank stare. "What the hell was that?" He asked as he raised an eyebrow.

"It was a prayer, you idiot!" Hughes grinned happily and looked in Hawkeye's direction.

Her eyes were giving him a blank zombie-like stare and he gun was down at her side, from complete shock. _'That total wierdo,' _she thought as her mind got back into focus and pulled her gun up from her side.

"Why do I bother?" she moaned as she put her hand up to her forehead. It was giving an ache that she hadn't realized for awhile. _'I must forget everything around me when I can cause pain to those two idiots,'_ she groaned of the headache she'd gotten while everything around her was chaotic. "I'm going back inside," she turned around and trudged up into her house, leaving a dazed looking Roy and Maes sitting on their knees.

"Did...I just see..what I think I saw?" Roy whispered to Maes as he stared in utter shock at where Hawkeye was standing minutes ago.

"THE LORD HAS ANSWERED US!" Hughes yelled up into the night sky again, holding up his arms and delight.

"Yes, I'm so grateful, I think I'm gonna become a preacher!" Roy yelled into the night sky in sheer sarcasm. _'Wow, I hope Hughes is just being the idiot he is' _Roy thought as he stood up and brushed off dirt from his pants.

"What the hell is happening out there!" Edward screamed from inside of Al's armor. Pounding broke out again from the inside of Alphonse and everyone stared in Al's direction.

"Let him out, Al." Maes said calmly scratching the top of his forehead. He frowned at how evil Roy could get with Ed.

"No, don't do that! The shorty's fine where he is!" Roy argued back at Maes with a serious expression sewn on his face.

"THAT'S IT!" Ed screamed out from inside the armor. A loud clap emitted from where Edward was and a large flash of light came out from his direction.

"Brother!" Al yelled back at his brother, who pretty much just destroyed his body. But the only response Al got back from Edward was another loud clap, where he turned his automail arm into a large sword.

"Come and say that to my face, moron!" Holding up a fist, Ed screamed in Roy's direction and shook his fist threateningly at the Flame Alchemist. Whipping out his silky white gloves, Roy smirked and held up his fingers, ready to snap.

"Bring it on, Fullmetal Pipsqueak!"

Ed thrust himself forward and ran toward the Roy, who was holding up his fingers. But his feet suddenly stopped moving, because apparently _someone_ was holding him up in the air.

Despite the large hole from Al's suit of armor (the one Ed broke out from), Al picked up his brother and held him up in the air. Roy on the other hand felt a large blow to the side of his chin where Maes had punched him to prevent him from using alchemy.

"What the" Roy was cut off from the fact that Maes had punched him in the same place again.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?" Roy yelled out angrily at his best friend. The pain from his jaw was now even worse than before.

"Please contain yourself in front of the children," Maes smiled happily and pointed toward Elysia, who was still in front of Hawkeye's house, staring at the scene before her.

"YOU'RE THE ON WHO SHOULD CONTAIN YOURSELF!" Roy yelled back, remembering that Maes was the one who punched him. "Watch where you're jabbing your fist at!" Roy twitched in pain from the area of contact.

"But if you hadn't started with Edward, we wouldn't have to do this!" Maes broke out into a grin again and kinda made Roy feel like he was some sort of Kindergarten student. He rolled his eyes and rubbed his face.

"Let's go," Roy muttered and started walking away, off from Hawkeye's home. He took his hand off his face and crossed his arms in anger. _'If Hughes hadn't dragged me here, there wouldn't be any problems,' _he thought as he walked past Alphonse and Edward.

Upon realizing the fight was over Al let go of Edward, who had an evil glare of death on his face. Anyone could tell he was planning out how to kill the Colonel. He shook his head and walked off after Roy.

"Uhm, Brother?" Al cocked his down onto his side and called after his brother, hoping to remind him that he still needed to fix him. The reply he got was as clueless as Ed could be.

"Huh? What is it?" Ed turned around and stared at Alphone with a blank look. He scratched his head and smiled. _'Oh, whoops...' _Ed walked back toward his brother and clapped his hands together, in order to perform his alchemy, and he placed his hands on his brother's armor. The armor renewed itself and Ed patted Al.

"There we go. Sorry about that," Ed smiled and turned back down to where Roy was. Al walked on after his brother, and last to come and follow was Maes and Elysia.

"So where to, now?" Roy turned his way toward Maes and hoped their destination would be 'home'.

"I don't know..." Maes scratched his chin and looked down the street. "Let's go to all these houses and maybe some more!" His voice was spirited and he turned around to face Roy, Al, and Edward, to find them on the ground. They had fallen from the shock of Maes's answer and pretended to be unconscious, hoping that this would change his mind.

"Oh stop being spoil sports!" He began to drag them all toward the next house, and Roy jumped up from the pain of the friction between himself and the ground. He kicked the concrete ground and glared angrily at Maes, who was leading Elysia up the next house, after letting go of Al and Edward. Edward cursed under his breath and yawned, hoping that maybe he and Al could somehow ditch everyone else and go rest. But Roy was giving an uneasy look toward him and he could see Maes looking uncertainly at them all.

It was certainly going to be a hellish night.


	3. Chapter 3

Yay for no Sunday School! So..since i don't have it..I'll just type this out...;D Thanks for the reviews, everyone!

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Chapter 3 

Maes and Elysia left the house they went up quickly. Elysia was happy that she finally found someone sane, that she could actually get candy from. And Maes was happy that he could finally find someone who was actually sane. Maes stepped up to Edward and grinned, whereas Edward's mind was screaming 'Get away from that madman!'.

"What's with that face? Does your back still hurt?" Maes asked ad tilted his head onto his side, with a look of concern on his face.

"NO! It's umm..My stomach!" He placed his arms on his stomach and began groaning in 'pain'. He prayed that maybe Hughes could just let him leave and be in peace. But knowing him, he probably would do something stupid...Like kick him in the back again.

"Me too!" Al yelled out. Ed gave an uncertain look to his brother. "I can feel it! The rust! It's everywhere!" He put both his hands on his head and fell down on the ground and began to twitch. It really looked like he was having a seizure of some sort. "MAKE IT STOP!" he yelled out into the night.

Roy, realizing his chance, bent down and took a deep breath. "Alphonse! Are you okay?" He lay his head down near his flailing arms and purposely got himself hit by one of them. He could've sworn that there were yellow birds flying around him but quickly got up and realized the blood dripping off the side of his face.

"Oh my! It looks as though I am bleeding! I guess I should go home!" Roy told Hughes and got up. His tone was as fake as any fake tone could get. You wouldn't ever see Roy Mustang as an actor for ANY movie.

Hughes blankly stared at everyone. His insides were screaming their head off, for he could see right through them.He really couldn't take it anymore and burst out laughing right then and there. "Next time, get more practice!"

Roy, now disheartened, took his am slowly and began to wipe off the blood on the side of his face. Edward stopped groaning and took his hands down on his side. And Alphonse stopped his 'seizure' and got upright. They would seriously do anything to get out of this situation. But who wouldn't?

"And let's go!" Hughes flew off with his daughter to the next house and Ed, Al, and Roy trudged ahead. Their heads were hanging in front of them and they barely lifted their feet off the ground. (A/N : Awww. Poor everyone! Especially Roy! hugs Roy plushie and stabs Ed voodoo doll)

Roy suddenly realized that the cut he had gotten was still dripping blood. He took his sleeve and wipe it again, only to find it wouldn't stop. (A/N: Oh em eff geee! Head injury..O.o rhymes...). He just took his sleeve and kept it right on top of the cut. "Apply pressure and keep the cut above your heart," he remembered his military training he had gotten while joining. And he also remembered his crazy Health teacher back when he was a kid. He just then suddenly realized how much Hughes was like his Health teacher. But he threw that thought out of the window.

So he just kept his arm there, right on the cut. Pressure. And..well his head was already above his heart. So there we go. He looked to his side were Edward was walking. On

Ed's other side was Al who was very quiet at the moment. _Had he picked up another cat while we weren't looking?' _He asked himself, realizing that when Al was this quiet, he had probably picked up a stray animal of some sort.

They all stayed at the front porch were Maes and Elysia were. They really didn't want to go up there at the moment. Maes rung the doorbell and a young woman appeared in the doorway. She stared at Elysia first and then up at Maes.

"Trick-or-Treat!" she said out happily. The woman bent down happily and began to talk to her.

"So what are you supposed to be this year?" she asked with a smile on her face.

"A gangster!" Elysia replied in a sing-song voice.

The woman looked up at Maes with the what-on-earth-are-you-teaching-your-child expression on her face. Maes looked away quickly and began whistling loudly. The woman rolled her eyes and turned back to Elysia and handed her a couple of pieces of candy. She stood back up, waved at the two, and shut her door quickly. She made a mental note to herself to keep her children away from that man.

They both walked down and were in front of everyone else.

"Can we go home, _now_?" Roy asked, slipping his left hand in his pocket while his right one was still on the side of his face.

"But we barely went _anywhere_! There's so much more houses to go!" Hughes held his hands up out into the night sky and left a confused Roy by his side.

"I hope you don't mean to go and visit every single house in Central..." Edward whispered, under his breath. But Hughes had heard him already.

"Of course I meant to do that! It wouldn't be much fun without going everywhere!"

"NO!" Roy yelled out and grasping Hughes's clothes. "I am not going to go to every single house in Central...I'll just go home and you guys can go do it yourselves..." He clenched his teeth and was breathing very deeply. But apparently that yell had no effect on Maes.

"Aww. But it won't be fun without you Roy!" Hughes swiftly grabbed the pair of handcuffs and cuffed them onto Roy and himself. Roy was shocked.

"Where the hell did you get those?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Let's not get into that," Maes whispered and began to walk away, dragging Roy along with him. Right then Roy had an idea.

"No come on! I'm sure that story is very interesting!" Roy yelled out to his best friend. His plan to was to make Hughes tell the story. And knowing Hughes he'd probably go and tell out the story of him and his wife as well. Maybe if he was lucky Hughes would through in a few pictures too. If it worked right, it would keep Hughes busy for hours and when he was done, he'd realize how late it was and go home. It was probably the only way to keep his reputation from going down. And was probably the only time he would ever be happy that Hughes had his camera.

"You are very right! And a very interesting story it was! It started out with a fight to the death between me and Chomotikato Po!" Everyone twitched at that name but Hughes didn't seem to notice and continued on. "It was a fight to the death and I was disadvantaged the moment we started. It was nighttime and he had night vision goggles! We were in an alleyway and he began to attack swiftly. At first I was doing very well and dodged all his attacks." Roy began to doze off. "He was very strong, I'll tell you that! I don't think anyone but me would've survived!" Edward doubted that very much. "His first attack to have actually hit me was his weak punch. It made me stagger back a little but I was right back on top of him!" Ed was about to break for it when he noticed that Maes was looking right at him. "The fight was long and dangerous! He realized his end when I took out my trump card. He told me he'd end it right then and there and he threw himself off the cliff we were fighting on!"

"But, I thought you said you guys were fighting in a dark alleyway.." Ed replied, uncertainly, remembering clearly that Hughes had said 'dark alleyway' somewhere in there.

"Noo..I said cliff! As I was saying, before he jumped off he dropped this pair of special handcuffs. And i realized that since I was the one who brought him to rest, I should take them and use them for my own purpose to fight crime and save Central!" Hughes took up a mighty pose; something Armstrong would probably do. Ed, Al, Elysia, and Roy made sidewards glances toward him. But..As planned, Hughes continued.

"And when I came home my wife was terrified! Blood was stained all over-"

"But I thought he did suicide..You couldn't possibly have gotten blood on yourself when he did that.." Edward questioned with an evil grin on his face. _'Maybe I could get him to get so embarrassed he'll go home!'_ But at that thought, as if Roy could read minds, Roy nudged his elbow into Ed's stomach.

"Let him continue," Roy whispered to Ed. Ed was shocked at this thought. _'Let him continue...LET HIM CONTINUE? Is he mad!' _Roy nudged him again and gave him the death glare. "Please go on!" Roy chipped back at Maes happily.

"Well..When I got home my wife saw me and she was terrified! Speaking of my wife, isn't she the most beautiful thing you ever saw?" Maes pulled out over 5 dozen fulls of pictures and all of them seemed to be on his wife. "I took this one last week! And this one two days ago! Isn't she amazing? Oh my god! Here's one on her with ELYSIA!" Hughes squealed out like a little fangirl and held out his pictures right in front of Ed's and Roy's face. All the way in the back Elysia blushed.

Roy tried to keep himself calm, and _truly _tried to make a straight face when he said "She looks so cute, Maes! And in this one she's even more cute!".

"Don't you think so!" Maes squealed out again.

"Of course!" Roy was keeping himself from letting his eye twitch. It might ruin it.

Ed started in shock. He could totally dub himself insane. First Hughes was actually dressing up as a gangster, claiming he didn't need to buy any new clothes for he had some. Second, Roy was actually taking interest in Hughes's pictures. Thirdly, WHAT THE HELL WAS HE DOING HERE TAKING ALL OF IT!

Ed concentrated and tried to ignore Roy's and Maes's squealing. He looked toward Al in a serious face and walked toward him. He had a plan. But it might make him get killed. But anything was worth doing to get out of this...

"Alphonse..We have to beat them up..and knock em unconscious..Throw them in an alleyway..and just play it off and walk away..." Edward put his fist on his hip and made his 'elderly-brother-knows-best' attitude.

"But..Isn't that a little harsh...?" Al asked with a caring look.

"It's going to save us.." Edward said back with a serious look on his face. He sighed and turned back to Roy and Maes, and stared in shock. _'You can't be serious,' _They were both laughing their heads off and kept sharing the pictures.

"Weeeelll..I'm pooped..Let's go home Elysia!" Maes Hughes grabbed his daughter's hands and they both waved as they walked off in the distance.

"Geez, they're going home already? They barely went anywhere..." Ed mumbled off, glaring at Mustang who was wiping sweat off his forehead.

"Well wasn't that the point, Fullmetal?" Roy overheard Edward and just pointed out the obvious...Which..obviously..Ed couldn't see.

"But _I_ wanted to drive him off!" Edward yelled back at Mustang, acting like a total child fighting about a toy he wanted or something.

"Who the hell cares?" Roy looked off in a random direction. "I don't know. I feel as if we've missed something important."

"Like what?" Alphonse asked, curiously.

"I dunno... Oh well," Roy shrugged it off and started walking home when he called back at the Elric brothers. "Oh, go home you two. No point in staying there all night," Roy walked off in another direction and waved his hand in the air, stating goodbye.

"Well...Let's go home. I have work tomorrow, too...And a report to hand in..."Edward groaned, rubbing his head. He'd wished he'd finished it earlier, now that he was so tired. _'Well that's what you get for procrastinating,' _his inner self yelled at him. "Shut up, you. I never listen to you anyway." Ed mumbled under his breath. He started walking toward the military lodgings when he called back to Al. "Are you coming or what?"

"Oh yeah!" Al ran off toward Ed and they started going off home.

-next day-

Edward yawned as he finished his report on his latest mission. It'd taken him all night and now that he was done, he had to go to work and actually hand it in. Then he'd probably have to take in all of Roy's insults off him being a lazy idiot who saves things til the last minute. And Hughes, who would probably be showing off his latest batch of pictures. But Ed decided he'd come home early and sleep.

"Al, I'm off." Edward grabbed his red coat from off the back of the sofa and walked toward the front door. "Al?" Edward called through the house.

"Yes, brother?" Al peeked his head out of the room he was in and looked in Ed's direction.

"What's gotten into you? Anyway, I'm off to headquarters...See ya!" Ed waved and was about to step out of the door when he heard..a very loud..and crude meow.

"MEWWWW!" it cried out.

"AL? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!" Edward glared in Al's direction and Al looked away.

"It's my stomach! I'm really hungry!"

"MEEOOOWWWW!"

"AL! It's in pain!"

"No it's not! I'm taking care of it!"

"FINE!" Ed yelled out. He wondered how well his brother could take care of a cat. He wondered if he could actually do it. He bet himself 5 dollars that Al would fail. _'Wat kind of shitty bet is $5?'_ His inner self yelled at him again.

Edward ignored himself and shut the door to his temporary home. He walked down the hallway and ignored his inner self for a long time. When he got down to Mustang's office...It was quieter than usual. Perhaps Hughes hadn't come in yet. Edward let himself in, knowing that Mustang probably wouldn't mind. And..To his surprise, everyone was actually _working._

"I have gone insane," Edward was about to let himself out of Mustang's office and back ito his room when Roy called him back and told him to come and hand his report in.

"I hope you didn't procrastinate like you always do, and save it until the last moment." Roy said calmly, acting psychic again. Edward ignored him and Roy took it as he did save it til the last moment.

"Oh yes, I had something to tell you, Fullme-"

"I'm here!" Hughes burst through the door with a sing song voice again, nearly killing everyone from heart attack. Fury rustled through his desk for his inhaler (A/N: XDDD I always picture Fury the kind of person who'd have that.). Roy fell over on his chair and the only one who acted as if nothing happened was Hawkeye...As usual...

"Please be quieter, sir.." Riza said calmly.

"YES! Be quiter! Please.." Roy angrily growled back, not forgetting the previous night's 'adventures'.

"I was talking to you, Colonel.."

Roy's eye twitched as he remembered that Hawkeye, too, would probably ignore him. And all because Hughes had let his daughter in on what he thought of the two of them. "Why are you here, anyway?" Roy spoke out.

"Oh yeah! To give you the pictures from yesterday!" Hughes pulled out an envelope and presented it to everyone. "Looky..an envelope..."

"Pictures..? I'm not taking home any of those pictures of Elysia NOR your wife!"

"Not _those_ pictures! _These _pictures!" Hughes opened the envelope and released the pictures that seemed oh-so-important. Everyone, including Hawkeye, got up and looked around the pictures. They stared at Roy blankly and getting annoyed, Roy pulled out the pictures from Hughes and looked at them himself.

"WHEN THE HELL DID YOU TAKE THESE?" Roy screamed out, trying to hide the pictures from everyone. Total shock. Anger. Embarrassment. And even emotions he didn't even know existed came out all at once. He took the pictures and ripped them in half in front of everyone and pulled on his alchemy gloves. Snapping his fingers, they burst into flames and Roy stomped on the ground, stopping the fire from spreading.

"Oh! Not to worry! I have seconds!" Hughes pulled out another envelope! The exact same kind which seemed to be fit with so many pictures. Roy snapped his fingers without even realizing it, and they burst into flames, right in Hughes's hands.

"HEY WATCH IT! I only have one more copy!"

"EHHH!"

"Just kidding!" Hughes laughed heartily, and acted as if this was some kind of April Fools Joke. Everyone stared at Roy and their blank zombie-like stares were getting worse.

"I was somewhat expecting this..." Fury sighed.

"We all guessed this would happen," Falman said, nervously.

"Yep..because that was...-" Breda started.

"THAT WAS MY GIRLFRIEND YOU WERE KISSING!" Havoc screamed out, letting balls of spit hit Mustang's face.

"Well...obviously she prefers me...over you.." Mustang said, reluctantly. He wondered how Hughes had gotten hold of those. He wondered how Hughes had gotten into his bedroom and actually taken those pictures.

"Poor, Rachel! She probably has Mustang germs all over her, now!" Havoc fell over and supposedly began 'weeping' over his girlfriend. Mustang scratched his head and tried to think of something. Quick.

"Uhm...I'm sure1st lieutenant Hawkeye would love to go out with you!" Roy pointed to Hawkeye, who suddenly picked up her gun and threw it straight at Mustang's face. Roy fell backwards from trying to dodge the gun. "Hey watch it!" Roy yelled at Hawkeye.

"You watch your mouth. Next time I'll go throw a bar of soap in there," she said back, calmly, totally ignoring everyone else, and going back to her desk.

"Oooohh...The Colonel got told..." Breda whispered to everyone and snickered loudly. But only doing this resulted in getting punched in the head by Mustang.

"And now that I'm in front of you-" Roy started talking to Hughes.

"NOW THAT YOU'RE ACTUALLY HERE I REMEMBER HAVING TO DO SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT!" Hughes shot out of the room before anyone could even notice it.

"Geez..." Edward muttered. "Anywaaaay, before Hughes came here..what did you want to tell me?" he asked remembering the reason he was actually still in that room.

"Ah yes. I...forgot." Roy said simply.

"Well whatever," Ed started walking out of the door, praying that maybe just _maybe_ things could just go back to normal for once. But he knew that it would take a long time. He glanced at his steel arm and kept walking back toward his room. Maybe everyone could just forget about what happened!

But knowing them...They wouldn't.

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MEH..okay..done.. ; This chapter was really boring to write XD

"I'm sure the 1st lieutenant would love to go out with you!" best quote ever...

Anyway..I got this new idea thing..for another small thing to work on..But i havent even started yet..But i got the general idea. Its gonna be really funny, though..I might've given up on those other fics I was writing.. . I dunno...They just became boring to write..Maybe I'll come back to them eventually..Until then, I'll write little drabbles or something...XP


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